Finding My Way in This New World

Starting tomorrow, restaurants and stores here in Switzerland will reopen their doors. Yesterday on my daily walk in the sunshine, I passed some of my favorite haunts in the neighborhood and waved affectionately to the happy locals setting out tables and chairs for the outdoor service that begins tomorrow. … Continue Reading on Facebook

Romance Swedish Style

In late June I visited a dating site where I have had a profile for years. I was bored, my lover was away on vacation and nothing much was going on in my life. I was curious to see if there were any interesting men around. This profile jumped out at me: I’m a successful Swedish businessman, widower, nearing my retirement. I’m looking for someone to enjoy elegant vacation trips to tropical destinations. Are you that someone? … Continue Reading on Facebook

Female Dominance that Transforms

A few months ago I took part in a panel discussion on female pleasure. One of the women on stage found my talking about female dominance to be annoying. She believed that it was time for a more mutual approach between men and women. Let the war of the sexes finally come to an end! She wanted to see couples on equal footing with one another. This is a widespread popular and oft repeated point of view: Lets make peace between the genders and live in harmony. Continue Reading

Poly and Proud

I have never made a secret of my amorous connections with multiple men. But recently I connected online with a new guy and I was reminded that not everybody knows or approves of the free/queer/kink lifestyle that I have adopted in my senior years. After a week of misunderstandings with this new acquaintance, I confessed to him that I already had half a dozen men in my life. I told him that he was welcome to join the club if he liked but I would never ever be hi Continue Reading on Facebook

Discovering the New Masculine

For most of my career as a sex educator I have claimed, “I don’t teach men.” In the early days, I had tried to run some workshops for men and these events invariably ended in disaster. My assistant at the time refused to support me further if I continued moving in this direction. Eventually, I began to share her conviction that today’s men are a hopeless waste of time. … Continue Reading

Discovering Your Own Kind of Play

How do you feel about sexual play? If at the moment, your sex life consists primarily of penis in vagina friction sex, I’d like to let you in on a wonderful secret that you might not be aware of: Erotic Play is a real thing! It’s a thing, a really sexy thing that all of us need to know about. Like most women, I like the occasional straight-forward-good-quality-no-frills-penis-in-vagina-fuck. Especially with someone I love. … Continue Reading on Facebook

What Does it Mean to be MAINSTREAM?

This word has been floating around in my head all week. In a discussion with a girlfriend, I began contemplating what it means for me (and my work) to be outside of the mainstream. A lot of questions surfaced concerning my commitment to female pleasure, the politics of leadership, feminism and my very unique approach to teaching female empowerment. … Continue Reading on Facebook

Erotic Spanking

What’s so great about spanking a boy’s bottom? A friend told me recently that in his long-term relationship with his wife (20+ years together) sex had become predictable and infrequent. Despite the fact that their sexing bored them both, they still considered their relationship to be “romantic.” … Continue Reading on Facebook

Recognizing the Macho in Men

Once again this week a dominant man approached me to talk about erotic play and sex. And to my shame, once again, I didn’t spot him right off the bat. It took me 24 hours to really see the truth and understand the folly of his game. Only later did I understand why I have this blind spot, this filter. For years it has kept me from recognizing the wolf in sheep’s clothing. … Continue Reading on Facebook


Why am I teaching women to embrace sexual dominance as the play of choice at this particular time in our evolution? Is it just a game we are playing or does it have a deeper significance for women and for society as a whole? Well truth be told, it’s both a play and an important shift in our collective understanding of human sexuality… Continue Reading on Facebook

Among Other Things: PENETRATION

A conscious life is about balance. As human beings in a world of polarity, we are constantly reminded of this by the things we experience both within and without. Day and night, male and female, positive and negative, even our breath is a symphony of balanced polarity. We cannot only breathe in. We cannot only breathe out. Even as a tiny newborn, we discover the importance of the balancing of these two essential movements – breathe in – breathe… Continue Reading on Facebook

Your Desires and Boundaries

Men and women seem to often have a different understanding of boundaries. Years ago, when I was organizing Temple rituals for my women’s workshops, I had created my first secret Men’s Team. This was a group of carefully selected guys whom I had collected over the years. They were deeply committed to serving the desires of women. Each man represented a different masculine archetype (the Warrior, the Magician, the Priest and so forth) and they each h… Continue Reading on Facebook

Male Objectification – An Oxymoron

What does it mean to objectify a man? On a recently information panel of sex experts, I declared that I was an “Expert in Male Objectification” and found that I was asked over and over to explain the meaning of this odd expression. To most couples who spoke to me it seemed to make no sense. We all know what female objectification looks like because it has been part and parcel of women’s experience for thousands of years. The female body has … Continue Reading on Facebook


Recently a man contacted me to set up an appointment for counseling. He and his wife (both in their 40s) were no longer having sex and he hoped that I could help them find a solution. I warned him right off the bat that I’m not a practicing couple’s therapist but identify myself more accurately as a sex educator. Over the years, I’ve been tempted to work with people confronting hetero-bed-death (an unfortunate but common symptom of long-term monogamous relati… Continue Reading on Facebook

The Art of the Kiss

Recently I have been contemplating the meaning of the kiss. Generally speaking, I often take the temperature of a relationship by feeling into the kisses that I share with another. Our human lips have a massive amount of nerve-endings. Lips are beautifully designed to pick up on many different sensations. Not just touch but also taste and smell are all happening in this region. And when our lips touch those of another human being, especially one that we ha… Continue Reading on Facebook

Growing a Belly

I have always been slim—all my life actually. But like most women, I had to work at it. You know the drill: ten pounds extra on the scale followed by diet, exercise and several months without booze. Eventually you drop the weight and are back in the game. For years, I had a membership at a gym and regularly visited different exercise classes to remain fit and trim. I jogged too. When, like most people, I developed trouble with my knees I switched to power walk… Continue Reading on Facebook

Men and Female Sexual Empowerment

For years women have asked me, “Where do you find these guys?” I have facilitated workshops on female sexuality for more than twenty years. The objective of my work has always been empowerment. The tool that has proved most effective in leading women to their innate female power is PLEASURE (in large glowing capital letters). Not professional advancement. Not religion. Not men. Not relationship. Not anything outside of their individual plea… Continue Reading on Facebook

To Have a Companion

I was indoctrinated with the concept that, just like my mommy and daddy, someday I would meet the perfect man. He would fulfill all my needs and desires and would love me forever. After two failed marriages, with kids and grand kids to prove the point, I have moved on from this much-loved cultural fiction. Here’s what it actually looks like in real life. A woman can live a satisfying life (with all her needs and desires met) if she realizes that it takes… Continue Reading on Facebook

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